Kinect...gaming without a controller or games..... you know for Kidz and Kazualz

They arrive November 4th 2010....................

What is that I hear you say "Kinect me " ok  hold on and I will:


The Kinect is  one kooky piece of hardware , probably conceived at at time when Microsoft feared everything would turn the original toilet white colour of the Nintendo Wii. The hoodied and faux Google t-shirted  scooter piloting masters of the Redmond leviathan must have panicked and thought the whole games market was about to go Kazual Kidz , and they needed something to Kinect to the Kazual Kidz .Before Nintendo`s toilet white coloured upstart finished flushing all their profits away. 


But the Kinect won't ....., as  THERE ARE NO GAMES , correction there are casual Wii style party games , animal petting games , dance and fitness games , and erhh Sonic .


But there are no core games , now consider this is not by choice , who would not want to launch with core games ? It is because perhaps the Kinect can barely handle the party games , let alone the likes of Halo , Gears ,Call of Duty or any other staple core release . 


And I am sure the shareholders thank the gaming Gods that Molyneux's playing  with a small virtual boy simulator got cancelled...mysteriously....


With it's bizarre choice of child simulation as a AAA launch/mascot title now cancelled , Kinect is thus left  to aim for a casual market share , one that is already saturated by said toilet white dust gathering Nintendo Wii.And there are millions of them. Millions of them.....Millions of them.....


Unless and until Kinect gets a core title release , it will leave the Xbox Live Motion Massive ,  confused and happily waving their Playstation Moves in core games like Res Evil ,Heavy Rain,M.A.G , and their Wiimote plusses in hundreds of casual Wii games  .NONE OF WHICH INVOLVE SMALL CHILDREN SIMULATION!

N00BM0nk3y000 channelling the righteous anger felt by all core Xbox Livers

How will the likes of  animal petting game a   , Dance game x , Fitness game y , and errh Sonic face off against that lot ? In a time of Western Austerity? The Kidz and Kazuals have far less spending capability than they did just one video games season  ago. 


Are any of the Xbox live Call of Duty/Halo/Gears hardened vets going to meet on line to play animal petting dance fitness marsupial chasing games? The same gaming talk poets you find on an average Xbox live session? To this the part of  gaming demographic, willing to go hungry but continue to buy games , that merry band of brothers and sisters that keep the coffers of many near to failing games publishers full in the hardest of recessions, Kinect is a virtual slap in the face , an icepick in the back , and  in actual reality  it will largely be a kool way to navigate the ever more bloated Xbox dashboard..




What the great ones have missed in their office , sorry skat3park cappuccino skinny latte yak/soy milk meetings is that the gaming audience is not fixed to one fad , yes there was a great casual surge in games playing following the release of the Nintendo Wii,  but the fad is over , and Kinect is mistimed to arrive at the point it is over ,ignoring the fact that  it's key markets are in recession. Even Nintendo outside first party releases , find it difficult to shift games and hardware , and they are the masters of motion .


Microsoft missed  the change in gaming to Social Network gaming and TOUCH , and it is touch and social network gaming  NOT motion gaming , where the Kazuals and Kidz that Microsoft were aiming for have turned to for their entertainment. 


This fact has also been missed by Sony , and Nintendo , all of whom have seen sales and demand decline in the  largely unopposed rise  of Facebook,  iOS and Android as gaming platforms.


Take Kinectimals where for £40 you wave at your pet , on the iPad you can actually touch,stroke  your Tom Cat for free! Ask the millions who have downloaded that app to their millions of iOS devices if they can  live without Kinectimals and the hassle it will take to get Kinect working.


The sad thing is it is the core that Microsoft is ignoring that would knock down walls to make room for Kinect if it ran Halo , but they are not the target audience . This would be like Gabe and the Valve guys at Steam , suddenly turning to the Steam community and saying all we are releasing is casual games , thanks for your money now play your cheap puzzle games ... wait no .. that could never happen ...


There are other issues


Size Matters : the 10 ft distance , the requirement to change hairstyles/hats/turbans , and clothes , and placement problems , and as yet untested lighting, head rugs,  face rugs and carpet rugs,  flooring problems are nothing compared to the greatest problem that kinect faces :the size of its target users , the average Xbox 360 owner does not look , feel , act  or importantly weigh anything like the average Kinect demo person . And anyone who does seriously already has a life and will not be hooked to a console jumping around in front of a camera  , unless they are being handsomely paid to as an actor.


Kinect has about as much chance of improving user health and fitness as the your dust covered Wii had of granting  you a Fonda/Governator physique.

I say.... could you chaps in the back stop dilly dallying ..righty ho!...one is trying to Kinect 

No time is  Kinect time : The problem with kinect is that it requires time and  whole body movement. And there are nicer things in life that require those things now aren't there? Video games are played to avoid whole body movement and consider when people play games ,  when people come back from , dinner , work, the school , club,match, movie ,the gym, swimming , Polo , or Prime Ministers Question time ,4 am in the morning,  they want  to avoid body movement that is why they game , one touch screen swipe or console pad button push should save or annihilate an entire planet or tribe of green pigs, whilst the only other part of them moving is their other hand , or straw strapping lips allowing them to  gently partake from the beverage of their choice. Your brain what`s left of it should be resting. Where then ,does kinect fit into your day? , will you be upchucking after breakfast, dinner , or 10 pints of Mountain Dew, or would sir madam like to stress themselves out during their limited game time by not keeping up with the dancing fitness queen on the screen as they tell you to stand on the spot for the 20th time before you start your Michael Jackson yoga dance medley frenzy? 






Wouldn`t you rather be following Lara, pondering why Snake loves cardboard , turning planets to Glass ,in fact I will wager this gaming season you will in fact be in the virtual jungles of Nam , Vanquishing Russian robots , Kratosing with the Belmonts , battling the "opposing forces " in Medal of Honour ,partying on your Wii , celebrating Marios 25th ,  feeling every bump in the road whilst steering with a force feedback wheel on some grand racing game , I forget its name oh yes Gran Turismo 5 , saving up for the always too good Steam sale , and checking out the 1000s of freebies and cheap games on iOS and Android . Where in that limited game time will you have time to kinect with your kinectimal.


Let me ask you this ,do you see yourself  in any of the Kinect videos , released to date ?


Some of the core will buy it , I want to be in Minority report , however  the kidz and kazuals will turn away by January , bored of their new kinectimal pet.  At least the Kinect will  save many an unwanted puppy from abandonment this Christmas.


Hope for the old boy yet :After strong first day sales , which the resellers will claim sold out , Kinects will gather dust , until someone manages to bring a new series of core titles .But I suspect that neither the present Xbox 360 or the Kinect hardware can handle this.But imagine what you could do with this connected to a l33t pc ,,,,


One thing Nintendo got perfect with the launch of the Wii was having several AAA core launch titles . But to do that they had to understand the limits of their hardware , and their users  ,something Microsoft needs to throw more money at seems . 


And another thing does the idea of your console watching you not freak you out I mean how long before this happens .....

"Sarah Con........"

See you in the trenches .....

Check  Amazon.com for kinect 

                                                                           

get your kinect in the UK  FROM THEGAMEVEDA EBAY STORE  OR from Zavvi or Game or AMAZON UK


checkout  2001 ,   v , and of course  Terminator if you missed the riffs....