Apple CEO resorts to e-penis rhetoric in face of flopping share prices

Android leads to anger ..anger leads to hate hate  leads to suffering....

Have APPLE and Steve climaxed too soon ?

Yesterday with Apple admitting a twin below the belt self inflicted blow of falling share price and a magical drop in demand for the iPad the CEO and  Wizard of Cupertino threw down in a stereotypical geek e-penis waving frenzy . Now , iWorship his shadow but he has given better sermons.And Steve fans everywhere are thanking the maker the event was not face timed

iPad making Apple shareholders promises Steve's Ego cannot keep

The iPad has no serious competition , it is the only driver in the only car driving round its own exclusive closed iOS Formula 1 circuit. It has a cult like following ,and a supportive USA based blogosphere army that reports its failures more positively than its competitors successes . But the iPad is losing that race ,and this is extremely worrying,and fascinating.

iPad and Steve make Apple Crumble

So let`s go through Steve`s possible brain quake

"ACK!" : TODAY THE IPAD IS LOSING MARKET SHARE IN A MARKET  WITHOUT ANY COMPETITION

"ACK!ACK!" : GOOGLE ANDROID  ,BLACKBERRY , AND WINDOWS 7 TABLETS ANNOUNCEMENTS  ARE VERY REAL COMPETITION

GENIUS RESPONSE :Kill two birds with one stone: Using sleight of mind , direct attention of audience away from your falling sales , by waving your 9.7 inch iPad e-penis at the 7 inch upstarts, neglecting to mention that most of your competitors have 10.1 inch and 12 inch e-penises , or in the case of the Libretto W100 dual 7 inch e-penises!

"ACK!ACK!ACK! " ALL TABLETS APART FROM IPAD  DO FLASH ALL ARE OPEN :HORROR OF HORRORS SOME  HAVE FULL WINDOWS 7 OS ! IPAD WILL NEVER GET THESE FEATURES

GENIUS RESPONSE : omit these facts again using sleight of mind talk about these positives in a negative manner , open=fragmented fragmented = bad  ipad = closed closed = good. therefore ipad=good competition = bad and bad=dead

GENIUS FINAL SOLUTION : misuse TECMO scantily clad  fighting game reference "iPad competition is DOA .......Dead on Arrival" ...  it's Dead Or Alive Steve , obviously your not up with your Sega Saturn Classics..too much face time and too little game time....

These are the first steps of a CEO that will sooner than he would like ,and probably kicking and screaming, be "encouraged" to follow the philanthropic route of his fellow Silicon Valley pioneers/pilgrims.

The truth is the Apple iPad was never THE slate form factor it was always going to be one of MANY. Android has overtaken iOS with phones and will do with slates, full OS slates are infinitely more useful,and cost effective  than iOS  or Android. And Microsoft already has a tablet ready OS in Windows 7.

just some of the New Android Army  siding with the Tablet separatists or as Steve calls them The  fragmented

To move from an oft derided cult to global leader Apple will have to put the needs and wants of millions of new but fickle customers before the writ in stone tablet commandments of its mercurial CEO (iWorship his shadow), there is no consideration at present maybe out of fear or respect for Jobs ,being made to the fact that all these millions of new punters were someone elses customer not too long ago.

Oh and for Apple shareholders with diminishing returns  , this blogger entry was typed on my haptic feedback full pc keyboard on the lower of  two 7 inch multi touch screens on my Toshiba Libretto W100,  from Firefox 4 beta  with multi touch enhancements running on  full Windows 7 , a machine that truly represents the benefits of 7 inch portability, the truly open nature of a full operating system , and frankly awesome value for money when I consider what I payed for the iPad sitting next to it looking inadequate, and completely incapable of such basic tasks.

And when it comes to size and openness  the 12 inch Joojoo trumps all present slates, can run almost any OS of your choice and you can mess with it , upgrading ram , ssds, etc.

They say that pride usually comes before a fall ,but with falling shares and iPad sales  it seems for Apple it is the other way round , but hey you know they cool like dat.. they hip like dat ..... they cool....

 The hard facts , falling market share even before strong or any competition emerges , a CEO with an out of control ego from the early 1980's , falling share prices , and a company mantra failing to give the customer what they want  ,means it is just a matter of time before this happens

this public announcement was made possible thanks to  Angry Birds , Angry Steve , Google and Android , and little bit of the Dark Side of the Force  , Thank you Mr Lucas!

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