L A Noire console killer case cracked wide open ..main suspects Sony, Microsoft and Rockstar see no evil hear no evil...

The Case of the Console Killer Game : Chapter 2 


I motioned to my assistant to pour another kawfee ..black ...like I like my consoles.... turning a chair backwards before sitting down , and setting to work the case in the precinct interrogation..erh interview.. room where smoke still billowed from the dead and dying consoles now ready to be filed into evidence... an open and shut case of a multiple console killing game fatale LA Noire... However nothing in the City of Games comes that easy... 


Across from the table sat the 3 witnesses or suspects ,watching the tall blonde assistant glide from kawfee machine back to the table where she placed the now molten hot plastic cup to my mouth, the kawfee was scolding but the look she gave me was hotter, hmmmh  ,  48 hours of interrogation later (of the suspects not the blond bombshell) , and wearing out the precincts supply of 360 and PS3 pads , the three duhty rats  had all decided to sing from the same hymn sheet , absolutely no one was to blame for the overheating dying consoles , not Rockstar and their game fatale LA Noire , not Sony and not Microsoft deaf to my best interrogation techniques .. damn that 360 pad always runs out of juice... 


This open and shut case had just been blown wide open....again .... there was a console killer on the loose and I was not going to let him/her get away with daylight console murder... not on my watch ..


This case was set to run and run .... but first I needed some quality time with my assistant and some ice .... a lotta ice ... It get`s mighty hot doing detective work ..and....in the heartless City of Games.. in the end ...only love can save ya .. 


duhty rats...


Chapter 2 of the The Console Killer was brought to you by thegameveda , and of course Rockstar check out their LA Noire if you dare...






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LA NOIRE the case of the console killing game ..support closed ..game still killing consoles ..evidence gathers

Chapter 3 :T`was the game that did it .....

In last weeks chapter , we left your intrepid Fedora`d investigator infuriated at the indefatigable indifference irradiating from the incisors bared in an act of defiance by the chief monkeys at Sony Microsoft and Rockstar over the LA NOIRE multiple console homicide case they were all alleged suspects in . 


By the power of the independent , for now , interweb new evidence is emerging : and it points to the game NOT to the hardware 


Exhibit A : we can see the suffering of many  victims here for instance is a young chap , whose Xbox 360 has locked up thanks to the alleged console homicidal game LA NOIRE : 

Exhibit B : the following shows the PS3 3.61 update is not to blame , and other games more intensive than LA NOIRE run just fine . The intrepid detectives in this video deserve a medal of honor ( not the game version) , Rockstar you know what you deserve?

Over at the official Rockstar chit about the problems caused ( which actually shuts down to users comments when Rockstar feels like it ) , read the comments from further victims , both 360 and PS3 , and you will see many Belgian consoles died to bring you this information.


And the complete fallacy of Rockstar`s solution to the problem , as there is no way to restart a dead console , let alone reset cache , reinstall the game , set up a new PSN, whoops , offline PSN user , just to see if LA NOIRE kills your console on the next install ! 


Who can stop the Death Star that is LA NOIRE , is there any hope ... against this game Fatale ? 


Is LA Noire responsible for the greatest console homicide case in history ? And Scully ..is this a continuation of the global conspiracy against gamers that the PSN shut down forms part of as uncovered by thegameveda here ? I want to believe.....


Interrogation of the chief suspect continues in the City Of Games that is the Internet justice will be done...as the rightly disgruntled public mob and some very polite Belgian PS3 owners , proverbially  tear Rockstar a new one through the power of the web!.... duhty rats...




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The case of the console killer game chapter 4:The L.A. Noire Rockstar Pass ..life or death for thegameveda PS3?

thegameveda is wavering after weeks of holding off risking a 5th PS3 phat death with the as yet unsolved mystery of the console killing game L.A. Noire .


After several weeks of careful investigation , the strongest evidence has emerged from my local Blockbuster , that the game does not in fact kill consoles , or at least none of the games rentals or sales have lead to the type of horrors that have been previously reported.Other stores recommend installing the game to hdd and during my in store interrogations of staff at Game , the lack of sweat ,twitching ,and ticks all pointed me in the direction that they were honest about these console deaths as being rumours,exceptions and not the norm. The game selling out is also a good sign , although they could have just recalled the console killing first batch...it`s a mystery ...duhty rats....


I mentioned that I am on my 5th PS3 phat or 60gb  to the less hip daddios , each PS3 death has followed a major update to the os , and triggered by the release of a new game , the last 2 deaths following Rockstar`s GTA4 , and Kojima san`s Metal Gear Solid 4. With L.A. Noire we have the same combination : the new os update , and a new game launch .And many complaints of overheated consoles and the odd console death.


Sony kindly replaced all of my PS3`s without charge , so no complaining there on my part. 


Now thegameveda is about to go deeper than ever before into The Case of the Console Killing Game by risking mine own beloved PS3 , I could just get the 360 version , but that is on Kinect and Child of Eden duty.   And now Rockstar is offering a novel sweetener in the form of the The L.A. Noire Rockstar Pass ,available till 21/0/6/11 from Xbox Live and PSN (remember that old friend..) ....what next ? developers releasing free dlc , or heavens to Bettsy COMPLETE GAMES???

Will L.A. Noire kill thegameveda`s PS3 ..find out in the next chapter of The Case of the Console Killer....




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LA Noire : The case of the console killing game chapter 5 : Conclusion Epilogue and new DLC

Chapter 5 : going deep ....

Prologue

In  last weeks episode or chapter 4,  we left our intrepid do gooder  thegameveda placing the life of a beloved PS3 phat , updated to the 3.65 OS and at least 5 years old...in the hands of the alleged console killing game L.A. Noire  , after weeks of interrogation investigation and vacillating , thegameveda has now concluded investigations into the case of the console killing game ... how good the good stuff is , how bad the bad stuff is and whether it kills your console...or mine at least..  


Verdict : 


good stuff :  


1. Rockstar and Sony are innocent : L A Noire has been whirring in thegamevedas PS3 60gb console for 5 days now , and there is absolutely no sign of the console heating up any more than normal , or the dreaded sudden yellow death...
2. Rockstar`s Team Bondi have created a sublime game world , anyone who wants to tour a post WW2 L A ,  will have a great time ,and  there is a unique game that comes along with the sandbox too.
3. L A Noire nails the chase sequence: All great  Cops and Robbers films are  about the chase ,   Keystone Cops to Rigs and Murtaugh , Starsky and Hutch ...and errh that very long chase sequence in Violent Cop ... you get to do all that stuff in L A Noire.
4. The way the game changes pace from fast on foot and car chases , shoot outs to slow investigative antics is excellent . It gives you more time to live in the games beautiful world


bad stuff 
1. L A Noire is no Heavy Rain . Quantic Dream changed gaming with their detective/murder mystery .. L A Noire is great but not quite a gaming milestone the way Heavy Rain is.....
2. There is nothing noire about the colourful world that you inhabit : For starters it is not  black and white  , if ever a game could have pulled off using a black and white filter it was this ,and so Edward G Robinson would not be seen being shot dead in this games bright and colourful world. Nor would Mr Cagney be shouting you duuhhty rats ..as ....
3.The game paints an almost pristine picture of LA ,even the dirt has specular highlights ...There is no hallmark shadow /halo/mist/lighting... except for the brilliant menu screen ... the only "noire" looking part of the game.L.A. Noire should have been full of  black and white shadowy alley ways like that , instead it`s most atmospheric part is a menu screen...Think how important lighting is to the Noire genre ,from the way the lack of light or a sillohouette is used to introduce a character ,like a curvacious moll or the the vilest of sharp suited villains ,vital to setting the ambience  and fear of a scene ,  the flash of gunfire from a tommy gun or a smoking pistol..or cigarette... there is none of that captured in this game.
4. There is no grit or grime , steam rising from vents in the sidewalk or street ... people smoke but the smoke does not add ambience it is just sfx. 
5. The accents are all  authentic but the dialogue does not take  you back to the era of noire films , great to hear real accents ,but the racial stereotypes are back :   most non American  ears ( tainted by 60 years of Hollywood Noire)  place Polish, and  Scotts Irish accents to.....the East Coast NY and Boston .. not LA .. and were there really that many Hispanic front line cops in the LAPD  20 years before the American Civil Rights movement took hold ? This may be the version of LA in 47 the developers  want to project but how realistic is it? 
6. You play a detective working for the police , but all the greatest fictional Noire characters are typically Private Investigators like Marlowe , or outsiders  like  Sam Spade with molls like Ms Bacall hanging off their arms.. in L A Noire we get a partner or  Tomtom , in a suit  who gives you directions .. how about a backstabbing femme fatale assistant or partner ..played by Yvonne Strahovski?Or a digitally remastered Lauren Bacall , Betty Davies , Bogart , Cagney or my favourite Edward G Robinson?
7. The CGI women in L A Noire are fugly....again these do not compare to great femme fatales that made the Noire genre so memorable. Just a silhouette or two and the atmosphere of the whole game would be different... and it would take a hell of lot less GPU power than trying to stretch  polygonal facial muscles across the face of  a virtual would be actress  supposedly in her 20s but which ends up making her look like she is a constipated septuagenarian... 
8. WW2 flash backs are too Godfather .... I am on at least my 5th flashback and it really does not add anything to the main game ... and my head keeps playing Godfather music when the flashbacks happen.. and I start craving cannelloni which does not help matters...
9. There is nothing Bogart about your character .. he is young and fresh faced... when he needed to be grizzled , stubbled , smoking , with a drink and women problems , with a bookie chasing him for debts ... the kind of role Bogart and a young Sinatra made their own.
10.The detective part of the game is nowhere near as cool as last years Heavy Rain , there is no urgency in response time , the clues are gathered point and click style , and the interrogations bare more resemblance to Who Want`s to Be a Millionaire than the gritty life changing split second choices we were forced to make in Quantic Dream's classic.
11.The world that Team Bondi have created IS very beautiful , but that defeats the point of the Noire genre altogether ... it points to a younger group of coders , who may have access to criminal records of the time , but probably have to google Chandler , Bogart , Bacall , Cagney and Edward G Robinson to find out they do not have face book pages or are not currently active on twitter.
12. A co op mode would have made this game amazing imagine linking up with friends and frenemies to solve crime ... and think of all those awesome arguments you could have in the car about which route to take , or how to interrogate the suspects with your very own good cop bad cop routine... 


Epilogue 

This is of course the usual cynicism , thegameveda is delighted by LA Noire , most of all because over the course of a month , waiting to see if it did kill consoles , I found out it does not! We are spoilt nowadays with our games , entire cities sprawl out before us to game in , what LA Noire brings to the sandbox genre , is a tighter linear story but also it slows the frantic pace that these games are noted for , GTA , Read Dead , Prototype, Saints Row , and Red Faction Armageddon ,Mafia , are all about ACTION , from the get go ..  LA Noire slows the pace down , you can take your time around this city , and the missions/investigations.. it really does give you more time to sync to the gaming world .
L A Noire is one of the games of the year ,with enough detail and care crafted into it`s design to keep you playing .The combat and action game play is close to the excellent original Mafia on PC , the clue finding flawed and the famed interrogation based on facial expression basically a hap hazard multiple choice ... but it all comes together with great production values , I just  hope there is a black and white and noire lighting filter unlock , at least for the distant PC version.Or a mission editor .. think of all the great Noire films  you could recreate with this engine .. now there is an idea for Team Bondi`s future DLC ...


thegameveda celebrated this act of gaming Russian Roulette by purchasing the Rockstar Pass , so now there is even more L A Noire on my PS3 hdd , and still no sign of overheating , and the case of the console killing game has been concluded ...for now.....

get L A Noire in the UK from Game and Zavvi and L A Noire in the USA from Amazon

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L A Noire the case of the console killing game Chapter 6 : Cole get`s promoted to PC this Fall!but why no Kinect and Move DLC?

Maintaining momentum from console sales , or a very real indication of a failing console market , Rockstar have given in to releasing L A Noire  on the platform that is most suited for it`s style of play namely the PC ... 


An there in lies the rub , with a stagnant ageing failing console market , games developers and publishers ignore the PC and other platforms at their own peril .L A Noire is more memorable for overheating ageing consoles than it`s pretty decent game.A game that during its multi million dollar development ( most of which went on modelling dress and suit material correctly) somehow managed to miss using Kinect for the  Xbox 360 ( to put you in the game , do the clue searching, and interrogation technique ...erhh like pointing at a virtual notebook/clue,searching a body or crime scene , or getting heavy handed gesticulating and slapping a hysterical suspect or two ...Airplane style..or just putting your hat on !or taking it off to impress a dame or three) or for that matter L A Noire missed using the Move on Playstation 3 again for all sorts of things it could have.... but hey ours is not to reason why.... Quantic Dream managed it with Heavy Rain so why not Rockstar with LA Noire... just a patch is all it takes...


Once long ago over sized and over budgeted teams of coders hundreds in size laboured on the next great PC game,all those great teams are gone now , remember Origin ..no ...ask grandad?  Today we have the same over sized and budgeted teams directed at console development  and they are starting to produce diminishing returns ...  and they have to look other platforms to recoup the publishers investment ...  eventually like the Origins of old , to days uber coding houses will fail.


In their day Origin games used to come on around 50 floppies , or 10 cd roms , need $4000 ( in today's money to run) .. and be released bugged to hell , L A Noire is just the noughties equivalent  ... but on console and later PC.


In an age where a small team of coders can have a game  like Empire And Allies reach 33 million people , a game which you do no even notice the size of , or actually pay for , and are probably playing right now on Face Book on your tablet , phone ,laptop or desktop ... does development heavy bloatware like L A Noire have any real place any more in your life...? And therefore are today`s  over sized over budgeted and over stressed development teams like Rockstar ( and Infinity Ward for that matter) just on their way to going the way of Lord British , Origin , and all those now ancient developers of yore ...


Video game culture is now is in such a rich state , that like the rest of the art world , it can be full of great masterpieces  that we never experience . There are  great musical works , paintings , classic films etc , that we know of , but are only on the periphery of our day to day lives ..that we never experience. 


We used to play EVERY game released , we do not read EVERY book released , see EVERY painting /work of Art or every band /musical performance. Today there is so much out there   in the world of games ( much of it free and more social than ever before ) that we can be picky ..effete like all those other arty snobs or simply video gaming has reached the state where it has wonderful works of art like L A Noire that many know of but cannot be bothered to  or feel the need to check out or experience .  We do not NEED to play everything any more . And this is a very good sign of maturity for the video games medium ,  for the games fan and a warning sign for publishers looking at diminishing returns based on old revenue return models.


What happens next ? Find out  with thegameveda in  L A Noire  Chapter 7: the game developer killing game ...? And you know what by that time thegameveda will be using Kinect to play it on the PC !  And maybe just maybe wonder of wonders there will be a patch to allow Kinect and Move control on the Xbox 360 and the Playstation 3 .... a development that I will gladly tip my hat in respect to ...hopefully using Kinect or Move!

get L A Noire in the UK from Game and Zavvi and L A Noire in the USA from Amazon

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Millions exposed to L A Noire Reefer Madness DLC ... download but don`t inhale m`kay!

L A Noire is a true symbol of  globalization  ,  written by worked to the bone Australians with a heavy handed task master overseeing a gruellingly protracted coding session that lasted more than half a decade , released to critical acclaim and initial screams of "that game killed my console guv`nor" in the West and now topping the charts in Japan , where they would have expected a certain charming manga girl infused pyjama clad Q`bert clone , the limited edtion of which comes with a pillow ...  to be number one ( play the Catherine demo now on PSN and Xbox Live ) ... hmmmh.. pre order placed...

Get on over to PSN and Xbox Live to update your game , with rumours of even more DLC on the way that Rockstar pass you purchased now seems pretty good value , PC fans hold on to your Fedoras and Trilbys as you will pick all this up for £14.95 come this Christmas Steam sale! The above pic is a 1930s just say no campaign film check out Rockstar Bondi`s Reefer madness below :

get L A Noire in the UK from Game  and L A Noire in the USA from Amazon

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Free Red Dead Redemption Myths and Mavericks Bonus Pack DLC , Max Payne 3 and LA Noire PC news next week

Rockstar famously work all year round unlike your Infinity Wards or your D.I.C.E. with their big Autumn/Winter releases . Nay , Rockstar are quite happy to release in Spring , Summer , as Fall and Winter , making a success of GTA, Red Dead and this year LA Noire .

And they are very busy at the moment ,first on their slate is The FREE Red Dead Redemption Myths and Mavericks Bonus Pack which will be available for download to everyone on PlayStation®Network and Xbox LIVE® next week, starting September 13th

And on 14th September we get to find out what Max Payne has been up to , but will it be a true Remedy game  ? Max Payne 3 will launch next Spring .

They would also like to remind you that LA Noire complete with all its DLC and a version that will not be rumoured to kill your console , because it is running on your maxed out PC is just around the corner...

and the Rockstar story so far through thegameveda empty sarsaparilla glass :

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Onlive VS Steam Round 2 : The Battle for La Noire The Complete Edition

thegameveda could focus on the excellent Steam deal for Alice , the 75% off deal for the entire GTA collection , or the myriad of offers from Onlive including your first game for £1 or $1  , or the week long THQ sale that just went by ...

But no ... the real battle , where onlive and Steam go head to head is for pre orders for LA Noire The Complete Edition ..  

With Onlive you get 10% off plus £5 off your next purchase , with Steam you get the game for the same cost as onlive i.e.£31.49  , but wait Onlive subscribers get another 30% off that !

but you do get Grand Theft Auto 3 free with the Steam version... mkay...

Now consider , that this game is going to be towards or over 20gb  installed on your hdd with Steam , and  will also likely tax your hardware like nothing else this year , remember how past Rockstar games took several years to patch and get to the point where you can now purchase them all for a paltry £4.99 and get them to run , after another 20gb plus or so of installation.... ? 

This round goes to onlive , when I do start playing the PC version of this game I already own on console it will be through streaming and not Steaming , onlive is simply too convenient , and the days of terabytes of installed games are over for thegameveda .How cool will it be to instantly click into a game of the size of La Noire , never have to wait for gigabytes of DLC to finish downloading , or apply a single patch ... and to continue playing across desktops, laptops , tablets and tv ?

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L.A. Noire Complete for £22.04 0 install 0 wait 100% cloud !

This deal really is an offer you cannot refuse , a play pack sub of £6.99 gives you access to over 100 instant games , and also entitles you 30% off pre orders , which means you can order LA Noire complete for just £22.04  , get £5 off your next purchase.... and get all the benefits of 0 install cross platform cloud gaming with onlive ... yes I wrote about this yesterday .... but this is too good,  do not miss this if you are yet to jump on the cloud gaming wagon..... get on on over to onlive now or wait for even finer deals closer to Christmas

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Steam vs onlive :LA Noire the Complete Edition 75% off ! that`s £8.74

And Steam hits back , if you can be bothered to download in this age of the cloud you can get L A Noire the Complete Edition 75% off now , there is also 50 % off Dead Island and it`s DLC , and around 3 hours to pick up yesterday`s deals which include GTA complete for £4.99 and a bunch of discounted DLC , again you save now but when your hdd goes down , or Windows forces a reinstall that takes out your save games , you wise gamer will be thankful you also picked up the onlive versions of some of these games , and who knows may be if onlive could merge with Steam we would have the best of both worlds .... although with less of the shovelling of coal , much less of the shovelling of coal ... we live in hope and happy new year people!

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